My nights explained in a single conversation

customer: "Do you ever shop here?"
me: "Ummmm, I have, but not much."
customer: "I just ask because I don't see a wedding ring."
me: "Yea, I'm divorced, but have a wonderful boyfriend."
customer: "Oh. I like plus-sized girls. Don't tell your boyfriend." *wink*
me: "Uhhhhhh, no."

First of all, if you ever think it's a good idea to hit on a girl working in a porn store, don't. For one, I am working. Even if I were interested, I would not come into your work and make advances there. It's not the time nor the place, regardless of what kind of business the workplace is. Second, if a person says they have a significant other, that means just stop now. Don't continue to come onto them. Third, never, ever, ever tell a girl that the reason you are attracted to her is because she has a big ass. Those who think they do but don't will get hurt feelings, those who know they do and are bothered by it will be offended, and even if we know it and don't care, we don't need to be reminded of it all the time.

This advice brought to you by the letter "Y" and if you don't take the hint, COULD be brought to you again by the number "86".

Now he is back in the booth closest to the register with the volume as loud as possible.




I also found a 5 dollar bill plugging a peephole someone dug through one of the walls of the private viewing booths while scrubbing the baseboard for what I think is the first time in years. (I've only worked here about a month and a half, so still cleaning up after the last employee who did nothing.)

Slinging porn is boring

  When I tell people I work the graveyard shift in a porn store, the first comment I always get is "At least your job isn't dull." Here's the thing, most of the time, it IS dull. Painfully dull. I sometimes go 8 hours without a single customer (that I really see).

  Like most porn store, we have private booths. Most of the graveyard customers come in through the back door, go into a booth and leave without ever coming into the actual store. So I don't really even see them and everyone is happier that way.

  Now, when something interesting DOES happen, it is usually very interesting. I have gotten unwelcome, impromptu stripteases (do not do this, I am surrounded by cock and don't care about yours, just don't), helped a group of hot girls pick out and put on (outside of clothing, she wanted to wear it home) a vibrating strap-on, sold a city official a giant butt plug, and seen another customer almost knock the teeth out of a guy who was trying to shoplift.

  Anyway, most of the time, my job is boring. And gross (yes, I have to clean the booths). So I figured I would start blogging the more interesting experiences I have.